dear peanut butter,

i seriously can't sleep. it's 6:57am here and i can't sleep (i know i said that already, i just can't think of any other words to describe it)

i was lying here in bed trying to sleep and i was holding one pillow in my arms and i started crying. i want the pilllow to be you. i don't want to sleep alone anymore. i want to hold you in my arms. (i hate when i'm on my period, my emotions take control over me).

i don't know if i said this or not but i couldn't cry before and now i can't stop. i can barely see what i'm typing. (obviously i have edited it because the spelling is all correct). i want you to come home but i don't want you to come home because you would never be happy here. even if you were with me here in toronto you would never be happy.

the sun is coming up. i don't know if your parents and sisters will be up soon (i doubt it, it's a saturday) but i'm pretty sure i'll still be up when they get up. i don't feel sleepy at all. i don't know what's wrong. it might be because i have the day off. i don't know. all i know if that you're going to read this and you're going to think i'm crazy cause this entry is so random.

i don't want to see anyone but you. i don't want to open the door unless you're knocking on it waiting to come in. i want to touch your face and kiss your lips. i want to look into your eyes and tell you i love you. i don't want to wait 27 days.

i'm going to continue watching friends because it's the only thing keeping me from crying because it's so funny.

i miss you so much it hurts.

love,
chocolate cup